There are times that they do crazy things and sometimes I got mad. Whenever this happens, I will ask them to go in our room and talk things seriously.
They will ask me, “Usap ng haeart to heart o galit?” (Is this heart to heart talk or are you mad?)
If I am mad they will instantly say, “I love you, Daddy.” If their mistake is serious I will respond quickly but still talk to them and explain that what they did is wrong.
There were times that I don’t want to respond to them but they never stop telling me that they love me. Even if I frown they will keep on telling me, “I love you, Daddy.”
In silence, I look away from them but still they never stop, “I love you, daddy.”
Until finally, my heart softens and I will respond, “I love you too.”
And after I responded they will ask for forgiveness, “I am sorry, daddy.” They just want to make sure first that I still love them even if they did something wrong.
There were times in my life that I acted the same way to God. He repeatedly telling me, “I love you, son.”
I frowned because I was hurt and felt that God abandoned me.
God never stop telling me, “I love you, son.”
In silence, I turned my eyes away from him, feeling so hurt and depressed but God never ceases and keep on telling me, “I love you, son.”
Until finally, my heart softens and I responded, “I love you, Lord.”
I may not understand why it happened to me. I may not understand why me. Sometime in my life I felt I was abandoned and seems like I was alone in my battle. I almost lose my faith. I see a light but I felt that the light I was seeing was getting smaller and smaller. But I realized that trials are temporary and God’s love is eternal.
I was molested when I was fourteen years old and I was not able to tell this to anyone because of shame. I wanted to tell it to my father but he was sick.
And then dad died.
His death caused a big wound in my heart. I was depressed for six long years. My studies were affected and I almost not graduated from college. I went to school but stayed outside our classroom. Sometimes I just stayed in our bedroom and cry. In one or two occasions I thought of hurting myself.
In those instances, God said, “I love you, son.” I frowned and kept my silence. I continue serving Him but my eyes was away from Him. God never stopped chasing me and keep on telling me, “I love you, son.”
God sent someone to make me realized that there are so many people around me who love me. I decided to respond to God and the process toward healing started and I bounced back.
I graduated from college, I was healed from my depression, I passed two board examinations, the woman I was courting finally said yes after turning me down for several times and I was able to forgive myself and the person who molested me.
God offered His hand to help me but my eyes was fixated with the only finger that is hanging on with my dear life but I realized that I have a free hand to reach for His arms.
I stopped running away from Him and I began running back to His loving arms.
He embraced me and told me, “Son, I am here. Don’t you worry, rest in me and everything is going to be okay. Trust me.
“You may lose some of your battles but you will win this war. Whatever it is, I am here for you and I will love you unconditionally.” He added.
Like a child, I told Him, “I love you, Lord.” Sometimes I hear no response but he showed His love for me through the people around me, my family, my wife and my two daughters. Through them I heard God loud and clear, “I LOVE YOU, SON.”